It was not about telling them of our pain, our loss and the decision to end our relationship as a couple.
The moment was about confirming that uneasy feeling they had within their hearts by revealing the truth.
The moment was about informing them of the intention to heal our family.
The moment was about reassuring them that as individuals, we were an unwavering foundation of love and support.
At no point in the conversation with our kids did I mention the word divorce. I did tell them we would no longer going be husband and wife and that eventually, we would not share the same living space.
That was enough.
Dropping the legal term divorce into their minds felt like a harsh dose of redundancy. They already knew because they had lived thru the unraveling.
What they needed to hear was that they would have the love, support and attention of both parents. Kids want to be connected to both parents and should not feel like loving one is a betrayal of the other. This conflict of loyalties inserts seedlings of self-doubt and self-loathing.
The intention of affirming continuity of love and the acceptance of their relationship with each parent as having value was what inspired me to write An Expression Of Love.
My book is written for the moment when you tell your kids about the end of your relationship as a couple and the beginning of your relationship as co-parents.
It is a moment that will always be remembered.
It is a moment worthy of expressing love.