Originally Published in
THE URBAN HOWL October 7, 2016
By: Laura Phoenix Power
It’s not because I don’t believe in the beauty and power of love.
It’s not because I am bitter, frigid or otherwise unwelcoming.
It’s not because I lost all capacity to feel love, trust love or open my heart to another.
It’s not because I am afraid of another relationship not working out.
It’s not because I am unlovable, difficult, self-righteous, possessive or petty.
What I am is my own person.
I am empowered beyond generic societal perspectives or filters used to define what makes a woman whole or worthy.
I am balanced upon my self-constructed fulcrum and don’t need to lean on “the one” for emotional stability.
I am standing tall in the forest of my own dreams which I weave into my daily existence.
I am worthy of all love imaginable and the freedom to experience that love on my own damn terms.
I am beautifully flawed and proudly wave my own freak flag that heralds my failures and victories.
I am my own wellspring of humor, health, and happiness.
I am at home in my aloneness and do not need the company of others to validate my existence.
I am the one who creates my happiness and self-fulfillment.
I am enough.
As a Mom, every choice I make models womanhood and imparts impressions to my kids. I want my daughters to live more, love more and reach for more than I’ve lived. With all the love and fortitude within my heart, I work to set the standards high by loving myself fiercely, embracing my independence and living my dreams freely. And every time I fail, fall or plunge into the sand traps of fear, they see me pick myself up and chart the steps ahead.
I am modeling the greatest love story of all to my daughters: self-love.
This alone fills my heart and nourishes my soul. It illuminates and clarifies the distinction between the convoluted paths of extrinsic pressures and the authentic paths of intrinsic truths.
I have fallen deeply in love with this moment as a single, single mom and the gifts of self understanding it has brought. And I love the message being modeled for my daughters:
True happiness is to be, know and love yourself.