There are some days when I am terrified. This week has been filled with those days. I usually don't share daily struggles on social media. I'm blessed to have loyal, strong girlfriends and a lately a powerful ally in my Mom to support the path I have chosen.
And to be clear, I have chosen this path. I have decided to be single, to become an entrepreneur at 53, to parent first, breathe second in most instances, to withdraw socially so I can focus on building a life I love for myself and a financial foundation for my kids and me.
But some days. Damn. I am terrified. Anxiety grips my determination, and I am in a battle of will against my overthinking brain. The overthinking kills creativity and problem-solving abilities. I have been utterly stumped by my site all week, three rounds of tech support with Squarespace because, damn it, I can build my website. I can do it alone. For F8ck's sake, I can. If I can find a freaking sump pump in my dryer and restore function, I can do ANYTHING, on my own.
But. Damn. Some days. Someone to help. I wouldn't hate it.
I worry about running out of time. I am healthy but had a health scare earlier this week, and it hit the core pretty hard. Familial medical history and past surgeries came into every thought and boom. I was frozen once more, and time ticks on.
All this to say at times I feel weak and get scared and feel no shame in owning it. I'm calling out in case, anyone else feels it too; you're not alone any more than I am :) We have got to help each other, that's what makes a society whole💜
Today, I'm leaving the ring, forgoing the shadowboxing with fear and moving back to the house of gratitude. I'm homesick for hope, and my worry never got me anywhere but outside in the cold.... so I'm going home.
#doingmybest #beyourself #anxiety #iamworthy #ownyourstory #lauraphoenixpower
In life, some holes are heart-shaped portals into an abyss within our souls where pain thrashes about, holding us low in a space designed to block light and love. :: It lies, gaslights and disorients our navigation away from our true north, divinity and our birthright to thrive.
This pain whispers its poisonous messages like; "you are weak, unlovable, the wrong color, the worst gender, too stupid, weird looking, if you go, no one will notice." :: Or, this pain says nothing. You feel empty, isolated, unseen and unworthy and have no idea why these feelings persist.
Despair is a mother-f.
Depression comes for everyone.
Their gang-leader, hopelessness sneaks in without discretion, paving the way for doubt and self-loathing, driving us straight into a personal hell that is too shameful to speak.
We all know dark places, some more than others and they are difficult to discuss openly. When you're in it, speaking up, reaching out and holding fast to a friend seems too much to ask of them, because you believe you're a burden. In the light and happy times, it's a relief not to remind yourself. You want to enjoy laughs, love and good times.
:: Communication is an antitoxin to shame. ::
When we openly express about suicide, depression, and despair, we are committing acts of love. Each conversation heals the way for the next discussion. Let's talk to our kids about suicide the same way we address other life events. " One day, you may think about suicide, what do you think I can do to help? What would it take for you to ask someone, ANYONE for help?" ::
I wish real-life training will become as prevalent as teaching them how to handle a flat on the side of an interstate. Both can have deadly consequences.
:: Recently, suicide has frequented conversations in our home; it’s a reality in my daughter's social and academic community. Kids are killing themselves.💔
💛I am grateful to have met a courageous woman today who shared her story. Shanti has authored a book and founded a mental health movement SILENCE THE SHAME to get the conversations started. Check her out; she's a real-deal warrior of hearts and humanity. Thank you Shanti🙏🏼💜 #silencetheshame #shantidas404
"Never let someone's judgment make you question your truth," I told my youngling. In our conversation, the youngling was anxiously sweeping empowerment and self-worth under the rug of "what if the kids think this or that of me."
I thought of all the time, energy, tears I'd expended in my lifetime and the high price of self-worth I'd cashed in for matters that mattered not.
I cannot reimburse myself for time lost. ::
I can embrace the time at hand, sprinkle it with self-love, rainbows, and hilarity. I can break my heart wide open and mine it for my unique, beautiful jewels of empowerment and pearls of wisdom. I can roll down the windows that imprison authentic self-expression and let the winds of wonderment and fantastical creativity blow through my soul, then dance out onto this keyboard. ::
And in this; I teach my younglings to love, love, love themselves in perpetuity, in WHOLE, without apology, without explanation.
The truth is, we are what matters and judgements matter not. ::
At times, our minds play tricks upon on the fragilities of heart, allowing entry to the toxic language that harasses us into conformity and mediocrity. Bullies are pushers, drugging us on doubt and self-loathing.
Bullies erode precious time better spent loving, being and honoring our beautiful selves. Bullies teach us to bully ourselves.
Dear Younglins, if I leave you with anything from our time as housemates, dear God, let it be this:
Love, love love yourselves. Learn, teach and seek fluency in the language of self-worth and self-love. Magnetize a tribe of loving, creatives who are bat-sh*t crazy expressions of love, truth, hilarity, and wholeness.
Be unapologetically you. You are an expression of love.💜
📷Laura Phoenix Power Art:#yayoikusama @highmuseumofart
#creatives #selfworth #parenting #artist #bullying #empowerment #honoryourtruth #loveyourself #judgmentdetox #wholehearted #anexpressionoflovebook #lauraphoenixpower
Healthy home until 24 hours before the return to school😂
#parentingtruths #timing #family #nebulizer #health #gratefulforhealthcare
On January 4, 2019, I went out on a blind date and came home with a committed relationship.
Last night's book event was a success, although not in the way anticipated. The only attendee besides myself was one of my friends:)
And while it would have been terrific to have had an audience to share my book with, I left instead with a new business relationship.
Today, my book sits upon a shelf in a BRICKS-AND-MORTAR bookstore!
More than any other place, THIS is where I dreamt, envisioned and strived towards landing my pages. Bricks-and-mortar bookstores have maintained their luster beyond books on tablets and screen trends. Bricks-and-mortar bookstores carry the patina of literary history.
Lots of things played into last night's turnout or lack thereof, and while I ponder the intricate means of self-marketing, I am learning.
In that regard, I feel a bit like an earthworm today; I'm moving about, creating the groundswell that will enliven and nourish a movement towards positive co-parenting for many.
Without a doubt, that is what I am here to do with this life, enliven and nourish. 💫
For today, I will dance about on my self-created cloud of bricks-and-mortar bliss; allowing myself to feel this success and let it nourish my soul. 💜
My love letter to families, in words, on a shelf, at my favorite bookstore in Atlanta. Yay!
An Expression Of Love will be in the Women and Children's Health and Children's Development area of books and The Phoenix and Dragon Bookstore!💫🎉
#entrepreneur #author #coparenting #family #anexpressionoflovebook #lauraphoenixpower
Sometimes, the best kind of sisterhood love, is walking in one another's shoes.
A note about the book its purpose: I understand many women cannot co-parent with their ex-partners because of violence and malevolence.
This book does not address your truth or the experiences your kids suffer in this horrible and painful circumstance.
An Expression Of Love is the first in a series addressing a variety of parenting scenarios.
I wrote this book from the perspective of our personal experience.
I am sorry if the previous posts have triggered pain. 💜
Yours is a worthy story of the love, dedication, and daily heroism many never see. You are goddess-warriors.💜💪🏽
#singlemom #enddomesticviolence #protectwomen #goddesswarriors
💜 Take a look at An Expression Of Love- a heartfelt story of parental uncoupling
Book event tonight in Atlanta!
Detsils can be found on Facebook page:
Laura Phoenix, Writer
#coparenting #communication #compassion #family
Breaking up when you share kids is hard. If you're married, divorce is the legal process that defines your break up. It creates a new contract between you and your former love with rules for moving forward, together as separate entities.
The spoken rules of a break-up or written contractual agreement of divorce do not include communication tools for co-parenting. ~
Timelines for sharing kids are determined, but what about talking with kids about these decisions that impact their daily lives, how they will grow up and who they become as adults?
Even something seemingly as simple as transition day, when they go from one house to the other, profoundly impacts their well-being.
Join me this evening to explore a medium of communication, designed to support each family member and empower healing.
Co-parenting is intricate and complex. Co-parenting after your relationship ends has many challenges.
Many of us unwittingly default to our parent's version of uncoupling and divorce. We don't have to repeat those familial patterns.
You can define your terms and move forward with the family you want your kids to grow up within one family, two homes, wholehearted well-being for all. ❤️🧡💜💚
See Laura Phoenix, Writer on Facebook for more details☮️
#gratefulheart #coparenting #divorce #parenting #family
We shared a great love.
We thought we would be together forever.
We had children who became the everything of our hearts.
We grew apart.
We are a co-parenting team.
We have a forever plan that looks different than imagined.
We make mistakes, behave like jerks at times.
We succeed in parenting goals in beautiful, unexpected ways.
We love the same two people most in our shared new world.
We are forever joined through our kids.
We do the best we can.
We are a family, living apart, raising kids together.
We are an Expression Of Love.
Expression Of Love ~ a heartfelt story of parental uncoupling
By Laura Phoenix Power
A book about communication, written for all family members experiencing parental breakups and divorce: see more on Laura Phoenix, Writer ~ facebook page * Book event tonight! If you're in Atlanta area!
#parenting #coparenting #growth #family #divorce
Wedding photographs 📸 @roycetakespics
We lost and let go
We infused and renewed
We stumbled over ourselves, tangled in our insecurities and fears
We stood victorious upon foundations we built with our faith
We laughed until it hurt, cried because it hurt and grew because of both
We empowered one another
We loved, leaned, held and honored the best we could
We were together, and for that, infinite gratitude embellishes my heart and nourishes my world
#gratefulheart #family #2018 #parenting #growth #topnine2018
A natural born dreamer, I dreamt a little dream a long, long time ago.
I wished to become a published author. 💜 I've always loved narrative writing and wanted to write to the ones who lived with struggles, especially those who lived feeling invisible. I can relate, and I believe there is more for us in this life. ~ Along the way, a few people believed in my writing. In 11th grade, my Grandmother Audrey told me to continue writing, no matter where I took my life. " You have it, " she said to me after I read my first piece to her. She was the first person I'd ever shared my writing with, an incredibly vulnerable moment 💜~Freshman year in college, the first piece submitted to Dr. Roth, a notoriously hard-to-impress professor wrote on my paper, in red, " an embarrassment of riches." The word "embarrassment" first caught my eye, and my heart momentarily sank until I reread the statement. As someone tossed from four private schools, I found compliments from an educator wildly confusing. 😂~ The weekend I fell in love with my children's father; I read the beginning of an essay to him. It's still in development. After I finished, he said, " Oh my God, you should be writing every single day." 💜~ All this belief in my writing, and still I did not write. I was not able to write until I believed in myself which happened in an unexpected way when my life took a hard left off the predicted track. While pouring out my heart in a hand-written letter to our daughters, two nights before we told them of our impending divorce my first book was created. ~ The writer within, who only embraced the courage to share her words a few times, to a select audience in 30 years revealed herself to me once more. And I came to know my purpose.~ As a dreamer, staying grounded beyond great beginnings is a mighty challenge for me. But this year, there is grounding and a new calling; it begins with my first book signing @phoenixanddragonbookstore on January 4, 2019! 💜🎉 I hope you will join this dreamer, writer and mother for expansive love and light! If not then, stay tuned for online workshops designed for co-parents💜#coparenting #family #love #parenthood
”The sky is kinda purple, I miss you”
Love notes from my mini who loves sky gazing as much as I do and knows my love of all things purple💜
I immediately went for a walk and shared the sky with her from 20 miles away💕
No filter, Atlanta sunset
#gratefulheart #singlemomlife #coparenting #sunset #itsawonderfullife #motherhood #alwaysconnected #anexpressionoflove
💫 An Expression Of Love ~ a heartfelt story of parental uncoupling 💛💛💛
Written for health
Inspired by love
Shared for the love and wellness of all families transitioning into a new paradigm, when parents are no longer together as a couple.💜🧡 Available: Link in Bio to site
Facebook: Laura Phoenix, Writer
🧡💛💜 Yes, you can
spare some change
write the book
sell your art
thrive without a person
change your life
heal your wounds
buy the house
give up sugar
fight for freedom
own your story
be without your phone
share your wealth
I'm experiencing challenges right now that have rocked my trust foundation and sent shockwaves throughout my being. It's compelled clarity around self-limiting beliefs. Each shockwave unrelenting in its message: "Make the time while time is yours and do all the things in your head you desire but think cannot be achieved. Do them and fail, do them and succeed but do them."
As my British Grandmother would say, "Chin Up, Laura, when you're down, there's only up!"
#itsawonderfullife #gratefulheart #writersofinstagram #yesyoucan
Last seen running away from the scene weaving a tapestry of curse words in the air behind her-
#nationallampoonschristmasvacation #singlemomlife #itsawonderfullife #gratefulheart
💜 What feels like the cruelest betrayal of your trust may become a gift of growth beyond the bonds of your former self.
Fertile soil begins with digging beyond the surface, turning things inside out and releasing what no longer nourishes growth.
Plant self-love in the spaces left behind and see what you grow!😘
#compassion #selflove #growthmindset
I love the way autumn shows its true colors.
#authenticity #truecolors #gottobereal #kindnessmatters #true #nofilter